A direct cremation is a type of cremation that does not involve a funeral service or visitation at a crematorium. A funeral home, crematorium or independent funeral director can arrange a direct cremation. The crematorium can take the body 24 hours after death as long as they have the correct paperwork.
Many people choose to have a direct cremation because it is less expensive than a traditional funeral service. It is also a good option for those who do not want a formal service or visitation.
The benefits of a direct cremation:
1. It is a simple and low-cost option for those who wish to have a no-fuss funeral service.
2. A Funeral home, crematorium or independent funeral directors can arrange a direct cremation. This makes the process easier for the deceased’s loved ones.
3. This type of service eliminates the need for formal funeral service or visitation, which can save both time and money.
4. The body of the deceased can be in the crematorium within 24 hours after passing.
5. Direct Cremation is an increasingly popular option for those who wish to keep their funeral costs low.
If you choose to have a direct cremation, the ashes will be available for collection from the crematorium within a few days. You can arrange to collect the ashes yourself or have them delivered to your home or another location you choose. You may also choose to scatter the ashes in a special place to you. When you collect the ashes, you will need to bring along some ID, such as a driver’s license or passport. You will also need to sign a release form from the crematorium.
What about a Memorial Services
A memorial service is an excellent way to remember and celebrate the life of a loved one. It can also provide closure for those who are grieving. The memorial service will then allow family and friends to gather to share memories and stories of the deceased. A memorial service can be held at a more convenient date and at a location of your choice.
When a Direct Cremation has taken place, a memorial service could occur at your home, a beach, wood or forest, a church, or any other location. Typically, services are held by a clergy member or funeral director or a funeral celebrant like Julie Farmer.
How much does Direct Cremation cost?
The average funeral in the United Kingdom costs between £4,5000 plus. The cost varies depending on the funeral home or cremation provider you use, as well as the location of the crematorium. In general, it is less expensive than a traditional funeral service. A Direct cremation typically costs around £850, depending on the crematorium.
In conclusion
A direct cremation is a simple, low-cost alternative to traditional funeral services. The service is arranged through a funeral home or cremation provider, and many people choose this option because it is less expensive than a traditional funeral. This type of service allows the body to be cremated within 24 hours of death.
The death of a parent is one of life’s most significant and challenging experiences, no matter how old you are. It can create an overwhelming sense of emptiness and loss that is difficult to describe. Unlike other losses, the death of a parent is deeply personal. They are the ones who brought you into this world, nurtured you, and helped shape the person you have become. The void they leave behind is profound and unique, touching every aspect of your life.
Understanding the Depth of Your Grief
Grieving the death of a parent can feel like an emotional rollercoaster. The pain of losing someone who has been a constant presence in your life is deep and multifaceted. Depending on the circumstances of their passing, you may experience a range of emotions, from sadness and anger to confusion and even relief. It’s important to recognise that all these emotions are valid. Grief is a complex process, and a mixture of conflicting feelings is normal.
Allowing Yourself the Space to Grieve
In the wake of such a profound loss, it is crucial to give yourself the time and space to mourn. Grief is not something you can rush through or suppress; it demands patience and self-compassion. This mourning period is an essential part of your healing process, and it’s crucial to approach it with an open heart and mind.
You might find it helpful to create a routine that includes time for reflection and remembrance. This could be as simple as setting aside a few moments each day to think about your parent, write in a journal, or visit a place with special memories. Rituals like lighting a candle or praying can also provide comfort and a sense of connection to your parent.
During this time, it’s also important to lean on your support system, whether it’s family, friends, or work colleagues. Don’t be afraid to express your feelings and share your memories with others. Talking about your parent and the impact they had on your life can be incredibly therapeutic. It allows you to keep their memory alive and helps you process your grief.
Remember to take care of your physical health as well. Grief can take a toll on your body, so eating well, getting enough sleep, and engaging in regular physical activity is advisable. Taking care of your body will help you cope better emotionally.
The Importance of Patience and Self-Compassion
As you navigate the grief process, practise patience and self-compassion. The death of a parent is a life-altering event, and it’s normal to feel a sense of disorientation as you adjust to their absence. You may find yourself struggling with feelings of guilt, regret, or anger. These emotions are a natural part of grieving, but it’s important not to dwell on them or judge yourself harshly for feeling them.
One of the most important things you can do during this time is to be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to grieve at your own pace without imposing any expectations on how you should feel or how long your grief should last. Understand that healing is a gradual process, and it’s okay to have setbacks along the way.
If you find yourself struggling with intense emotions, consider seeking professional help. A therapist or counsellor specialising in grief can provide valuable support and guidance as you work through your feelings. They can also help you develop coping strategies to manage your grief.
Managing Others’ Reactions to Your Grief
One unexpected challenge of grieving is dealing with others’ reactions. While some people may offer comfort and support, others might not understand the depth of your pain, or they may say or do things that unintentionally hurt you. It’s important to remember that everyone processes grief differently, and not everyone will know how to support you in the way you need.
If someone says something that bothers you, try to communicate your feelings calmly and respectfully. Let them know how you’re feeling and what you need from them. For example, you might say, “I appreciate your concern, but I’m not ready to talk about it right now,” or “It would mean a lot to me if you could just listen without offering advice.”
At the same time, don’t be afraid to set boundaries with people who are unsupportive or drain your energy. It’s okay to distance yourself from those who don’t respect your need to grieve in your own way.
Grief can be an isolating experience, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Surround yourself with people who care about you and will support you through this difficult time. Whether it’s a close friend, a family member, or a support group, finding a community that understands your pain can make a big difference in your healing process.
Finding Strength When You Feel You Can’t Go On
There will be moments during your grief when the weight of your loss feels unbearable. The pain may feel overwhelming, and you might wonder how to move forward. During these times, it’s important to remind yourself that grief is a process that ebbs and flows over time.
When you feel like you can’t go on, try to take things one day at a time. Focus on small, manageable tasks, and don’t hesitate to ask for help when needed. Reach out to your support system, whether it’s a friend, family member, or counsellor. Sometimes, just talking about how you’re feeling can help lighten the burden of your grief.
Engaging in activities that bring you comfort and peace is also essential. Whether it’s spending time in nature, practising mindfulness or meditation, or engaging in creative pursuits like writing or art, finding ways to express your emotions can help you process your grief and begin to heal.
Honouring Your Parent’s Memory
As you work through your grief, finding ways to honour your parent’s memory can be a meaningful part of the healing process. Keeping their memory alive helps you stay connected to them and provides a sense of purpose and direction as you move forward.
One way to honour your parent’s memory is by sharing stories about them with others. Please talk about your favourite memories, the lessons they taught you, and the qualities that made them unique. You can also create a photo album or scrapbook filled with pictures and mementoes that capture the essence of who they were.
Another way to honour their memory is to act kindly in their name. Volunteer for a cause they care about, donate to a charity in their honour or do something nice for someone else in their memory. These acts of kindness can help you feel closer to your parents and keep their spirit alive in the world.
You might also consider creating a memorial or tribute in their honour. This could be as simple as planting a tree in their memory or dedicating a bench in a park they loved. These tangible reminders can provide comfort and a place to visit when you want to feel close to them.
Finally, remember that living your life in a way that makes your parents proud is one of the greatest honours you can give them. Continue to pursue your dreams, uphold the values they instilled in you, and cherish the relationships that matter most to you. You are carrying their legacy forward by living a life that reflects the love and lessons they shared with you.
Preparing Yourself for Life Without Your Parent
As you navigate life after the death of a parent, it’s essential to prepare yourself for the changes that lie ahead. Grief is a journey, and while the pain may lessen over time, the loss will always be a part of you. However, with time and self-compassion, you will find ways to adjust to life without your parent and create a new sense of normalcy.
One of the most challenging aspects of losing a parent is facing the milestones and special occasions that were once shared with them. Birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries can be tricky. It’s important to acknowledge these moments and find ways to honour your parent, whether lighting a candle, praying, or spending time with loved ones who also miss them; creating new traditions can help you feel connected to your parent’s memory.
You may also find it helpful to seek support from others who have experienced a similar loss. In-person and online grief support groups can provide a sense of community and understanding. Talking to others who have gone through the death of a parent can offer comfort and insight as you navigate your grief journey.
Moving Forward with Love and Memory
The death of a parent is a life-changing event, one that leaves an indelible mark on your heart and soul. While the pain of their loss may never entirely go away, it will become more manageable with time. As you move forward, take comfort in knowing that your parent’s love and memory will always be a part of you.
By allowing yourself to grieve, seeking support, and finding meaningful ways to honour your parent’s memory, you are taking the steps needed to heal and move forward. Remember, grief is not about forgetting; it’s about finding a new way to carry your parent’s memory with you as you continue your life’s journey.
Ultimately, the love and connection you shared with your parent will never be lost. It will live on in your heart, guiding and strengthening you as you navigate the path.
If you found Prepare Yourself for Attending a Funeral for Your Mother or Father, you may like these other articles you may find interesting.
This is the story of Sally and how, after the death of her mum, her life changed forever. For Sally, going through her mum’s wardrobe after her death was the most challenging task. Sally also started a new business because of her personal experiences and stress.
LOSING MUM CHANGE MY LIFE AND CAREER
My name is Sally, and almost exactly 21 years ago, I lost my mum in a horrific road traffic accident. I had spoken to her on the phone that morning. We had arranged to go shopping a few days later. That night I was woken up by my dog barking. I realised that someone was knocking on the front door at 2.30 in the morning.
As soon as I opened the door and saw my brother & his partner standing there, I knew. My life changed forever from that moment.
Mum and dad had divorced. I am the oldest child I was next of kin. My mum didn’t have a will. My brother was happy to leave all the arrangements and sorting out to me.
I arranged the funeral, told people, sorted out the financials, probate, sold the house, everything. It was so difficult, and I felt like I was snooping, and she would walk in at any moment and wonder why I was going through all her things.
When the house sold, the last thing I had to go through was mum’s wardrobe after her death, all her clothes and knick-knacks from over the years. I think this was the hardest out of everything because it was so personal and was the essence of her. I had no help with this and found that this process was like losing her all over againorting out Mum’s wardrobe after her death directed my new business.
Sorting out Mum’s Wardrobe After Her Death guided my business
My business, Recycle for their Future, buys people’s unwanted clothes, shoes and accessories. I pay up to £1 per kilo for perfect condition items.
Did you know that over 206 tonnes of clothing is disposed of each year in the UK, and only 10% of that is reused? I am 100% committed to helping the planet and doing my bit to recycle as many clothes as I can and stop them from ending up in a landfill. I offer a range of services, and one of those is a bereavement service, which helps the planet and helps you by putting a bit of extra money back in your pocket.
Having been through the process myself, I know how hard it can be to dispose of a loved one’s items.
Tailored entirely to your needs:
I can come along and sort out all the clothes myself. I will pay you for the items I want, and if you would like me to, I can recycle the things I don’t want to buy.
Or I can come along and sort out items with you, so you do not have to do it alone again. I will buy the things I want and can recycle the items I don’t want.
Or you can sort out the items you want to sell, and I can come and collect them.
Contact Sally
I am happy to do as much or as little as you want, and I do not charge for this. I will pay you up to £1 per kilo for the items I want to buy.
If you would like more information or to chat through the options, don’t hesitate to get in touch with me either by text, WhatsApp or by telephone on 07723 652044. Alternatively, if you prefer, you can contact me by email or check out her website.
In conclusion to Mum’s wardrobe after her death
In conclusion,
After her mother died, Sally realised that it’s not just her who would find going through a parent’s personal items stressful. Legal requirements can be highly complicated, but there is a logical, formal aspect to sorting out these issues.
Sally was overwhelmed with grief after the passing of her mother. She did not know how to sort out her clothes and keepsakes and found the process very lonely. But because she knew other people were experiencing similar challenges during these trying times in life she set up her business to help others by providing a clothing solution.
A eulogy is more than just a speech; it’s an opportunity to share stories and memories with family, friends, colleagues and the community. The information you have in your own experiences or the stories you collect from family and friends will help create the perfect send-off for a loved one. Writing a eulogy takes time, and it is essential to think about what matters most to you and them; how can I best tell this person’s life in 10 minutes or less? So, what are the questions to ask when writing a eulogy?
You can’t fake authenticity, so be honest and vulnerable with your answers to the questions below. You’ll need this honesty when writing an engaging eulogy that is memorable for all of those reading it – just like you were during their lifetime!
We keep our loved ones alive through our stories and memories, and a eulogy is a perfect opportunity to tell the world how fantastic your loved one was and the beautiful memories you have of them. Writing an engaging and memorable eulogy starts with collecting as much information about the person who has passed. Some of the information you collect will not get used, but most of the data will form the basis of your eulogy.
Let’s discuss tone when writing and delivering the Eulogy
The tone of your eulogy will depend on the service. You may want to check with family members and friends if it is formal or informal, religious/secular in nature – this affects what kind of language you should use during delivery! Your speaking style also matters, so make sure that they match up too; At the same time, some people might appreciate a more subdued delivery. Be Concise and Organised.
It is important to identify yourself and your relationship with the deceased by providing an opening statement. This will give you direction for your eulogy, which should reflect on their life’s theme and how they affected you personally in some way during their life. For example, I plan to share stories told to me by family members or friends who knew them best, maybe even relating one of my own.
Once you’ve written your eulogy, take a break and come back to it with a fresh perspective. Make sure all the information is there in proper context. Ask someone to read your notes and ensure they can appreciate every detail. Practice delivering this speech aloud.
When it’s time to give your eulogy, you want everyone in the audience – from close friends and family members to strangers to remember everything about the deceased. Before starting, take some deep breaths, calm yourself down so that you are in control, and when you are ready, start reading from your notes. Maintain eye contact throughout your speech and remember to maintain a normal conversational tone, which will help put everyone at ease.
Some of the questions to ask when writing a eulogy are listed below will be of use, but others may not be appropriate for your needs. This list is not exhaustive.
Their Passing
Had the deceased been ill for a while, or did the deceased die suddenly?
What was the cause of death?
Did the deceased suffer?
Was the deceased living independently or in a nursing/rehab facility?
Family
Who were their parents?
Where and when were they born?
Did they have any brothers and sisters?
Who brought them up?
Where did they live?
Did they travel/
Did they have any grandchildren or great-grandchildren?
Any other critical inter-generational relationships?
Did they have any Godchildren?
What stories of their childhood did the deceased tell?
Any stories about teen and young adult years?
Did the deceased grow up in the city and county where the funeral will be held?
If not, where was the deceased raised?
What brought the deceased to this city?
School
Where was their Primary?
Where was their Secondary?
Did they go to college or university?
What education level did the deceased reach?
If they went to college or University what did the deceased major in?
Armed Forces
Did the deceased ever serve in the military?
Which branch?
Where did they serve?
Any stories?
Husband / Wife / Partner
Where were they married?
What was their partner’s name?
Where did they meet, and when?
When and where did they get married?
How many years have they been married?
Is the partner living? If not, when did they pass away?
How many times were they married?
Their Character
How would you describe the deceased?
What is your favourite memory of the deceased?
What did you call them—any nicknames or terms of endearment?
Did they have a pet name for you?
Is there a particular lesson learned from the deceased?
How long did you know the deceased?
What do you think the deceased valued most in life?
What words would you use to describe their character?
How do you know the person?
Did the deceased have any obstacles to overcome in their life?
How would you describe their outlook on life?
Please describe as completely as possible?
Would you describe the deceased as quiet or outgoing or something else?
How would you describe their personality?
Life
What do you think the deceased was most grateful for in life?
What was the most important thing to the deceased (other than family) in life?
Do you think the deceased had any regrets about their life?
If so, what might they have been
Hobbies / Interests / Achievements
Did they have any hobbies or interests?
What were their hobbies?
Did you share any of these hobbies?
Did they teach you or anyone else their hobby?
If they did, do you have a funny story to share?
What were some positive attributes about the deceased?
Do you have a story about one time when you saw this attribute in action?
What did they like to do?
What will the best be remembered for?
Is there anything they hated to do?
Do you have a special memory that you want to share?
Did they have an achievement they were particularly proud of?
Did your relationship with the deceased change you in any way?
What do you think their lasting effect on the world will be?
Did the deceased have a Facebook page?
Career
What did the deceased do for a living?
For what company? For how long?
Had the deceased retired?
Did the deceased enjoy the work?
Why and to what extent?
Any other employment?
Are there any stories about their work-life that you remember?
What do you think the deceased would say were the most significant achievements of their life (other than having and raising a family?
Questions to ask when writing a eulogy to jog your memory
How did you meet?
What is a particular time you recall the deceased was especially happy?
A time they were embarrassed?
What is your earliest memory of this person?
What was the deceased ’s laugh like?
Were they chronically late or early?
Do you have any funny stories about times you spent together?
Where are they forgetful?
Was time keeping important?
Questions for Storytelling
Do you, your family or friends have or remember any favourite stories about childhood that the deceased loved to tell?
Do you remember stories they would tell about?
The military?
College
Getting married
Becoming a parent
Going to prom/leaving school
Learning how to drive
Did the deceased ever discuss big decisions they made that impacted their live?
Were there any significant changes to the deceased ’s life that substantially affected them?
If you knew they could drop by and visit tomorrow, what would your perfect day together look like?
Questions to ask when writing a eulogy to make you think
What was the deceased’s favourite colour?
Did they have a favourite flower?
What type of music did the deceased listen to?
Was there a piece of clothing or something else the deceased wore that you found characteristic of them?
Did they have a signature saying or phrase?
How did the deceased impact your life?
How will you honour the deceased ’s memory?
What do you wish you had said to them before they died?
Religion
Was the deceased a religious person? If so, to what extent?
Did the deceased have a church or synagogue, or mosque?
Friends
Who were their closest friends?
How did they meet?
What were their favourite things to do together?
Are they living?
And Finally Questions to ask when writing a eulogy end with
Was the deceased involved with any clubs or other organisations?
Did the deceased hold office?
What might have been the most important day or days of their life (other than children being born?
Is there something about the deceased that most people at the memorial service probably wouldn’t know? Perhaps a hidden talent or habit or way of doing something?
Can you think of three words (at least three – feel free to use more) best describe the deceased?
What made you love the deceased?
What trait, characteristic, or value do you think they would most like to have passed on to the next generations?
Did the deceased have any pets? If so, please describe them?
Did the deceased enjoy music? What kind? Any favourite songs?
How do you think the deceased most influenced the lives of those the deceased knew?
If someone were to ask you what the deceased was like, what would you say in one sentence?
Are there things you think might be essential for us to know about the deceased that we haven’t asked?
Would you describe the deceased as quiet or outgoing or something else?
It’s a tricky question, selecting music for a funeral. There are three distinct pieces of music during the funeral service. Each piece represents a specific aspect of the service and has its job to do. The three pieces of music are:
Entry
Reflection
Exit
What is music?
Music plays a vital role in our lives. It affects us on a primaeval level. It starts with sound waves moving through our bodies, resonating and vibrating around our organs. Music can soothe and calm us when we are stressed. If you think of a baby going to sleep, a parent will often put music on to help the baby fall asleep. If you are angry or cross, loud or even heavy music can be played, turning the volume up so loud you can’t hear yourself think. As the music plays, the person becomes less stressed or angry.
Alternatively, if someone (possibly a speaker) wants to put energy in a room, they use upbeat, loud music. TV, films and advertisers use music to get us to feel an emotion, a connection with the visual image displayed. Indeed, if you watch an André Rieu concert, you can see members of the audience conducting the orchestra from their seats, other audience members crying, and then some just swaying to the sounds they hear. Music has a powerful effect on us.
Music and Sports?
In yoga, any session starts with the chant of Om, which is at a frequency of 432 hz, the same vibration found in nature and believed to be the frequency of the universe. The rhythmic chant prepares the body, mind, and nervous system for exercise and meditation. Other forms of exercise are performed with loud techno music. Getting participants to run, jump stretch in tune with the beat. Alternatively, have you ever had a song in your head that you can’t get stop thinking about and hum or sing it? If I mentioned the song “Can’t Get You Out of My Head” by Kylie Minogue, or YMCA by the Village People, who started to sing? You can’t help but sing along to the tune; this is called an earworm.
Music and Religion
Music is a significant influence on our lives. Religion uses music to ensure the congregation pays attention to the service; it keeps the congregation interested and breaks the pace of sermons and lectures. The bible has over 400 references to music. Buddhists, Hindu, Islamic and Shamanic use music to call the congregation to worship.
Once we add words to a piece of music, the entire piece takes on a new life, a new meaning, and becomes more important in our lives.
Music for a Funeral
The Entry Music
Therefore, music for a funeral is important. The music sets the scene and the tempo of the funeral service. The first piece of music is your ‘Call to Action’, your entry music. It can be a solemn piece of music that the deceased enjoyed. For example, Amazing Grace. Once this piece of music starts, it is the cue to get mourners into the chapel to tell them that the service is about to begin.
The Reflection Music
Reflection music is a piece of music that starts the process of quiet reflection. It is the time at a funeral when you, as an individual mourner, have an opportunity to think about the deceased, your time with them, and what they meant to you. The Reflection music is often more poignant, and words have a deeper meaning to the deceased and immediate family, for example, Monsters by James Blunt.
The Exit Music
Exit music marks the end of the service and is a more upbeat piece of music that reflects the deceased’s personality. It can be the theme song or tune from their favourite football team or the title music to a film or TV show they loved. It can be a song shared with a partner. This music tells the congregation that the service is over and that it is time to move from the chapel and continue to mourn with the family, spend time, and talk about the deceased. For example – I did it my way by Frank Sinatra, or If I could turn back time by Cher or Revelles Bolero, or Queen Bohemian Rhapsody.
Often the family would like the mourners to sing a song during the service. From my experience, this has always been a favourite hymn, but it doesn’t have to be. The crematorium will play an audio version of the song by a choir during the service, for example, “All Things Bright and Beautiful,” and the congregation can sing along. The words should be in your Order of Service.
Selecting the Music for a Funeral
It is challenging to know which music to select during a service. So try not to put too much pressure on yourself. I had one service where the exit music requested was Led Zeppelin, and another the theme tune to Heartbeat. Think about the deceased and their taste in music and the atmosphere you would like to create on leaving the chapel.
