In short, an Order of Service (OOS) is a document that will tell the mourners at a funeral what is going to happen within the next 30 minutes (be aware that some funerals are 20 minutes).
Who would you create one and why do you need to create an Order of Service.
You will be given an Order of Service when you attend a funeral. You can create your own Order of Service or have your funeral director or a printer create one for you. There are several items that need to be included in your order of service. This article will help you with the process and make it easier for you when creating your own Order of Service. It is important to note that you can run and organize a funeral yourself.
However, we would advise that you ask a celebrant to help you. The celebrant can either run the service for you or guide you through the process. There will be a fee for their services (the fee is often covered in the costs from the Funeral Director or your funeral plan), but it will make the funeral much easier for you if you decide to run the service yourself.
An Order of Service is an integral part of the funeral process. It lets the mourner, you, and the crematorium staff know what to do during the service. An OOS, details what is expected from the congregation. An Order of Service will be handed to mourners at the chapel entrance or are placed on the chapel seats.
Why have an Order of Service?
Many people are unfamiliar with the process and procedure of a funeral. For some, it is a strange and scary setting, especially if you are attending because of the loss of a loved one. After all, it is not an everyday event. As a guest, you don’t want to do anything wrong; you want to show support and respect. This is where the Order of Service comes in. It is a step-by-step guide to what is going to happen during the funeral service. You could look at an Order of Service as a meeting agenda or a recipe.
How to write an Order of Serivce
Most orders of services are A5 (an A4 piece of paper folded in half).
Page One
On the front of an Order of Service will be the name of the deceased; for example
After the name will be the deceased date of birth and date of death
After the name will be the deceased date of birth and Then there will be a photograph of the deceased that typically represents their personality.
Next, you will have the location of the service. This could be a church or a crematorium and the date and time of the service.
Order of Service
In Loving Memory of Samuel Anderson
27 August 1978 – 1 January 2021
Poole Crematorium 18 January 2021 at 11.30 am
Page Two
The next page will list the events taking place during the service. There will be the song name and artist. This will take 2 minutes.
There will be a welcome message and the name of the celebrant or person leading the service, followed by the opening words. This will take 2 minutes
Then we have the eulogy. The eulogy will be read by the celebrant or the next of kin. The celebrant will have written the eulogy in conjunction with the next of kin. In some circumstances, the next of kin may have written the entire eulogy, or the deceased may have written their own eulogy. This will be decided before the service. There may also be family or friends who wish to speak during the eulogy, and they will be added to the order of service. The eulogy will take only 15 minutes.
After the eulogy, you will then have some reflection time or praying time accompanied by some music. This will last for 4 minutes.
Order of Service
Entry Music Bat Out of Hell by Meatloaf
Welcome
Julie Farmer, Forget Me Not Celebrant, an Independent Funeral Celebrant Opening Words and Introductions
Eulogy Reflections of my brother by Ian Anderson
Reflection Music Monsters by James Blunt
Page Three
A member of the deceased family or friends or the celebrant may read a poem or ask the congregation to say the Lord’s Prayer. If the Lord’s Prayer is being said, the printed prayer will be included so everyone can say the prayer together. Saying the Lord’s Prayer is optional. You do not have to have any religious aspect to a funeral service.
It is now time for the committal to take place. Everyone will face the coffin and say their quiet goodbyes. The immediate family may lay a rose or flowers on the coffin. Children may put a picture they have drawn for the deceased or written letters. The committal will last about 3 minutes. The coffin will remain in situ, but the curtains may be drawn around the coffin. This is a decision the next of kin will make. It is common for the curtains not to be drawn as most mourners wish to touch the coffin on their exit to say a private goodbye to the deceased. It may sound morbid, but it gives a lot of comfort to the mourners, and people touch the coffin without realizing they are doing it. This is the last goodbye to the person they loved and spent time with.
There will then be the closing words, where the celebrant will thank everyone for coming to the service, thank the funeral directors and crematorium staff. This will take 4 minutes.
Finally, there will be some exit music.
Order of Service
Poem – Remember Me By David Harkins Read by Emma Anderson
Committal
Closing Words
Exit Music If I could turn back time by Cher
Page Four
On the last page of the Order of Service, you can add additional photographs, a song or a poem the deceased has written.
There will also be directions to the celebration tea or wake/party wake/party after the service. Some people will choose to add a charity for donations in the deceased’s name instead of bringing flowers.
Order of Service
Sam with his son Luke, two weeks after his birth. Then Sam, Elizabeth and Alice. Luke and Mary playing on the beach
A funeral generally lasts 30 minutes. This includes entering the chapel and leaving. Timings are as follows:
Entering the Chapel – 2 minutes
Introductions – 2 minutes
Eulogy – 15 minutes
Reflection – 4 minutes
Committal – 3 minutes
Exit – 4 minutes
Please be aware there are some crematoriums that only offer services for 20 minutes. If this is the case, the above times will have to be adjusted.
To download a pdf copy of Sam’s Order of Service select download below.
To get a free template to create your own Order of Service click here
What should be included in a eulogy will depend on the type of funeral service you are looking to create. One of the first decisions is whether the service will be a religious, humanitarian or a celebration of life.
It may be easier to take a fictitious example of someone who died. We will use the Example of Sam; here is a link to Sam’s Bio, to give you some idea of who Sam was.
It is crucial to think about your audience and how the deceased lived their life. For Example, Great Aunt Lucy, in her 80’s may not like to hear about the copious number of girlfriends Sam had but may like to hear about the one girl he loved and wanted to marry. At the same time, you should be faithful to the life Sam had and not exaggerate or embellish his life story. It may be easier to say something like:
“Sam spent a lot of time looking for the right person to share his life with.”
As Sam was a fun-loving person and was always joking around, then the eulogy can be fun, giving the audience a laugh and helping them remember why they had Sam in their lives, how they enjoyed their time with Sam and larking about.
“Sam loved life and enjoyed nothing better than telling jokes, playing tricks on his friends, and they will miss this aspect of their lives with Sam..”
However, if Sam was a serious person, and felt the wows of the world on his shoulders, then a light-hearted joking eulogy would not be appropriate. A more subtle tribute would be more appropriate,
“Sam was a serious man who looked at the world as a challenge and one he was eager to embrace.”
Sections of a Eulogy
What should be included in a eulogy could be a section on how, in our Example Sam, loved his family and how important he was to them and vice versa if he had a family. If not, how important friends were to his life.
A eulogy doesn’t have to be a chronological account of someone’s life; you don’t have to start off with:
Sam was born in Poole on the 27 August 1978 to Sara and Ian and lived most of his young life in the Poole area, attending school at Broadstone before moving to Creekmore. Sam liked school and was very good at it. The academic achievement came easily to him. He was an excellent athlete, representing the school in Rugby, Hockey and Long Jump. Although he had a lot of friends and was popular, his best friend was Andy Marks, with whom he walked to school every day and remains friends now. Andy has described Sam as irreplaceable, always seeing the funny side of life.
Instead, you could section the eulogy into different aspects of his life, for example, sports.
Sam was an excellent athlete, representing the school in Rugby, Hockey and Long Jump, which helped when he joined the Army, signing up for an ‘A ten-year stint’ and then represented his regiment at Thai boxing and became a black belt in Aikido.
This is a decision the author of the eulogy generally makes early on in the process, guided by the next of kin.
What can be included in a eulogy and what can you leave out?
What should be included in a eulogy and what should be excluded can be very stressful and challenging. In our example, Sam died in a car accident; you may want to make a note of that in your eulogy,
“Sam died so early in his life; he was only 34 when he was hit by a car as he drove his motorbike home.”
Alternatively, you could say:
“Sam was taken from us too early; he was only 34 when the accident happened.”
Or
“Sam was sadly taken from us too early, and he will be missed every day”.
The decision is entirely up to you as the author and the family.
The decision is entirely up to you as the author and the family.
You want to ensure the eulogy you write is entertaining, and more importantly, you ‘do the deceased proud’, ensuring that their life has meaning and that the mourners are comforted during the service. If children are present, you could involve them in the service, but this has to be with the consent of the remaining caregiver, mother, grandparents etc.,
For Example, Sam had a 7-year-old daughter who wrote her dad a letter and drew him a picture. During the service (at the Committal stage), she came up to the coffin, placed the picture on the coffin, told him what it was, and left the letter for him.
In conclusion, what should be included in a eulogy is entirely down to you and the family. You need to be true to yourself, ensuring that you are happy to deliver the eulogy while at the same time ensuring the family is satisfied with the eulogy.
What should be included in a Eulogy Questions to help
Date of birth and death
Name of husband, wife, partner
Name of children, grandchildren
Names of close friends and careers
Schools if necessary
Career success
Hobbies?
What will they best be remembered for
What were their character and personality?
War service – yes / no – details
Likes and dislikes
Special memories
The Service – Generally 20 or 30 minutes
When delivering a eulogy, remember you only have a specific time, generally 10 or 15 minutes. If you have a service at a crematorium, the services are 20 minutes or 30 minutes; in that time, you also have
As a Funeral Celebrant, I have come to the conclusion that funerals are funny things. You would think all funerals would be the same, but nothing could be further from the truth. There is indeed a loose format to a funeral, and those guidelines are almost always followed:
Welcome
Eulogy
Reflection
Committal
Goodbye
As celebrants, we must make each service special and individual to the deceased. The difference comes in the eulogy, selected music, poems, and readings. There can be a theme to a service. For example, someone mad about football can have a football theme service, with the eulogy reflecting a football match. The eulogy is often humorous, and its job is to make people fondly remember the deceased.
Children at the Funeral
You can then understand my surprise when I conducted a funeral today when we only had nine mourners. Four mourners were children saying goodbye to their father. I was worried about the service as I wanted to ensure the service helped the children come to terms with their loss, as they could not say goodbye in person as he died of cancer in the hospital. The children’s ages ranged from 4 to 14. Their mum had agreed to the service I had written and given me some valuable hints and tips about their dad.
I spent about 4 hours writing the service, most of which was on the eulogy. Even though most services are 30 minutes long, the work behind the scenes is time-consuming and extensive. I tried to make the service child-friendly so they could say their last goodbye, and the service I had created would only last for 22 minutes.
The Questions Children asked me as a Funeral Celebrant
When I got to the crematorium, I spoke to the family and dialogue with the children. They proudly showed me the pictures they had drawn for Dad and were on their best behaviour. We went into the chapel a little early, and I started to read my script.
Within a few minutes, I knew that the script I had created wasn’t going to really work. So, putting that aside, I was led by the children and their questions about the service.
Does the screen with Daddy’s name on it change every time someone dies?
Why is there a film of a flickering candle?
Are the candles real or fake?
Why do we have to leave by the door on the right?
How many funerals are there
I also asked them questions, for example
Daddy liked which football team
What are the colours of the football team?
Instead of reading the whole script, I spent some of my time answering their questions. During a part of the service, I mentioned that sometimes parents get things wrong, and one child picked up on this. And we had to explain that yes, parents get things wrong, but they correct themselves quickly so that they can guide you better.
During the committal, the children put the pictures they had drawn for him on the coffin, explained what they were, and said a quiet goodbye. The children were fantastic; they were not frightened to ask questions, and the service was more of a celebration of life and their last goodbye.
Conclusion of Children at a Funeral
As a funeral celebrant, I know I must be adaptable and guided by the audience. In this case, the children of the deceased. This was probably one of the most enjoyable funeral services I have conducted as a funeral celebrant.
