When reflecting on the beginning of a eulogy, what imagery do you envision? Do you imagine it opening with the familiar cadence of,
Julie was born on the 1st of January 1980 and went to school in Oxofrd? or She jumped out of a plane just to see if she could, then climbed Mount Everest just because it was there.” That was Julie—adventurous to the core, even in her final days.
The first statement is of steadiness and reliability. It defines Julie until the end. Or perhaps you lean towards the alternative, where the eulogy starts with excitement and daring.
Which Eulogy would you like to read?
Both introductions serve the same purpose flawlessly: they introduce you to Julie and set the stage for recounting the narrative of her life. Yet, the latter introduction exudes a touch of more excitement. It hints at the thrilling tales that are about to unfold, inviting listeners to embark on a journey through Julie’s experiences. Through these stories, we truly understand someone, their passions, love, and essence.
Stories hold immense power; they serve as windows into the soul, illuminating the intricacies of a person’s character. Think back to your childhood—do you recall the enchanting fairy tales that once captivated your imagination? Little Red Riding Hood, Peter Rabbit, and countless others. These fairy tales are etched into our memory. They shape how we perceive the world. Similarly, when crafting a eulogy, we aim to leave a lasting impression and paint a vivid portrait of the departed that lingers in the hearts and minds of those who hear it.
Why have a Eulogy?
We want the reflections shared during this service to be more than merely recounting events. Our deepest desire is for you to depart with a profound understanding of Julie—the facets of her personality that may have remained hidden, the moments of joy and laughter that defined her essence. We want you to leave with a newfound appreciation for the richness of her life. Filled with unexpected twists and turns that shaped her into the remarkable individual she was.
In piecing together the story of Julie’s life, let us highlight her triumphs and embrace her quirks and idiosyncrasies—the little nuances that made her unique. For it is in these intricacies that we find the true essence of a person: their raw humanity, vulnerability, and capacity for love.
As we delve into the stories encapsulating Julie’s journey, let us celebrate her indelible mark on the world. Whether through grand achievements or quiet acts of kindness, Julie’s presence reverberated far beyond the confines of her own life. Accomplishments are not measured solely by her legacy but by the countless lives she touched, the hearts she uplifted, and the souls she inspired.
Telling the Story of Julie – it doesn’t have to be Start | Middle | End. How about Middle | End | Start
In the narratives we share today, we honour a life lived and a spirit that will forever remain intertwined with ours. The narratives we share today honour a life lived. A spirit that will forever intertwine with ours, forever remembering Julie’s essence, laughter, and warmth. And though she may no longer walk among us, her spirit remains a guiding force. A shining beacon of light. During our darkest moments and reminding us of the beauty in every precious moment we experience.
The following Articles are about Funeral Planning.
A direct cremation is a type of cremation that does not involve a funeral service or visitation at a crematorium. A funeral home, crematorium or independent funeral director can arrange a direct cremation. The crematorium can take the body 24 hours after death as long as they have the correct paperwork.
Many people choose to have a direct cremation because it is less expensive than a traditional funeral service. It is also a good option for those who do not want a formal service or visitation.
The benefits of a direct cremation:
1. It is a simple and low-cost option for those who wish to have a no-fuss funeral service.
2. A Funeral home, crematorium or independent funeral directors can arrange a direct cremation. This makes the process easier for the deceased’s loved ones.
3. This type of service eliminates the need for formal funeral service or visitation, which can save both time and money.
4. The body of the deceased can be in the crematorium within 24 hours after passing.
5. Direct Cremation is an increasingly popular option for those who wish to keep their funeral costs low.
If you choose to have a direct cremation, the ashes will be available for collection from the crematorium within a few days. You can arrange to collect the ashes yourself or have them delivered to your home or another location you choose. You may also choose to scatter the ashes in a special place to you. When you collect the ashes, you will need to bring along some ID, such as a driver’s license or passport. You will also need to sign a release form from the crematorium.
What about a Memorial Services
A memorial service is an excellent way to remember and celebrate the life of a loved one. It can also provide closure for those who are grieving. The memorial service will then allow family and friends to gather to share memories and stories of the deceased. A memorial service can be held at a more convenient date and at a location of your choice.
When a Direct Cremation has taken place, a memorial service could occur at your home, a beach, wood or forest, a church, or any other location. Typically, services are held by a clergy member or funeral director or a funeral celebrant like Julie Farmer.
How much does Direct Cremation cost?
The average funeral in the United Kingdom costs between £4,5000 plus. The cost varies depending on the funeral home or cremation provider you use, as well as the location of the crematorium. In general, it is less expensive than a traditional funeral service. A Direct cremation typically costs around £850, depending on the crematorium.
In conclusion
A direct cremation is a simple, low-cost alternative to traditional funeral services. The service is arranged through a funeral home or cremation provider, and many people choose this option because it is less expensive than a traditional funeral. This type of service allows the body to be cremated within 24 hours of death.
A eulogy is more than just a speech; it’s an opportunity to share stories and memories with family, friends, colleagues and the community. The information you have in your own experiences or the stories you collect from family and friends will help create the perfect send-off for a loved one. Writing a eulogy takes time, and it is essential to think about what matters most to you and them; how can I best tell this person’s life in 10 minutes or less? So, what are the questions to ask when writing a eulogy?
You can’t fake authenticity, so be honest and vulnerable with your answers to the questions below. You’ll need this honesty when writing an engaging eulogy that is memorable for all of those reading it – just like you were during their lifetime!
We keep our loved ones alive through our stories and memories, and a eulogy is a perfect opportunity to tell the world how fantastic your loved one was and the beautiful memories you have of them. Writing an engaging and memorable eulogy starts with collecting as much information about the person who has passed. Some of the information you collect will not get used, but most of the data will form the basis of your eulogy.
Let’s discuss tone when writing and delivering the Eulogy
The tone of your eulogy will depend on the service. You may want to check with family members and friends if it is formal or informal, religious/secular in nature – this affects what kind of language you should use during delivery! Your speaking style also matters, so make sure that they match up too; At the same time, some people might appreciate a more subdued delivery. Be Concise and Organised.
It is important to identify yourself and your relationship with the deceased by providing an opening statement. This will give you direction for your eulogy, which should reflect on their life’s theme and how they affected you personally in some way during their life. For example, I plan to share stories told to me by family members or friends who knew them best, maybe even relating one of my own.
Once you’ve written your eulogy, take a break and come back to it with a fresh perspective. Make sure all the information is there in proper context. Ask someone to read your notes and ensure they can appreciate every detail. Practice delivering this speech aloud.
When it’s time to give your eulogy, you want everyone in the audience – from close friends and family members to strangers to remember everything about the deceased. Before starting, take some deep breaths, calm yourself down so that you are in control, and when you are ready, start reading from your notes. Maintain eye contact throughout your speech and remember to maintain a normal conversational tone, which will help put everyone at ease.
Some of the questions to ask when writing a eulogy are listed below will be of use, but others may not be appropriate for your needs. This list is not exhaustive.
Their Passing
Had the deceased been ill for a while, or did the deceased die suddenly?
What was the cause of death?
Did the deceased suffer?
Was the deceased living independently or in a nursing/rehab facility?
Family
Who were their parents?
Where and when were they born?
Did they have any brothers and sisters?
Who brought them up?
Where did they live?
Did they travel/
Did they have any grandchildren or great-grandchildren?
Any other critical inter-generational relationships?
Did they have any Godchildren?
What stories of their childhood did the deceased tell?
Any stories about teen and young adult years?
Did the deceased grow up in the city and county where the funeral will be held?
If not, where was the deceased raised?
What brought the deceased to this city?
School
Where was their Primary?
Where was their Secondary?
Did they go to college or university?
What education level did the deceased reach?
If they went to college or University what did the deceased major in?
Armed Forces
Did the deceased ever serve in the military?
Which branch?
Where did they serve?
Any stories?
Husband / Wife / Partner
Where were they married?
What was their partner’s name?
Where did they meet, and when?
When and where did they get married?
How many years have they been married?
Is the partner living? If not, when did they pass away?
How many times were they married?
Their Character
How would you describe the deceased?
What is your favourite memory of the deceased?
What did you call them—any nicknames or terms of endearment?
Did they have a pet name for you?
Is there a particular lesson learned from the deceased?
How long did you know the deceased?
What do you think the deceased valued most in life?
What words would you use to describe their character?
How do you know the person?
Did the deceased have any obstacles to overcome in their life?
How would you describe their outlook on life?
Please describe as completely as possible?
Would you describe the deceased as quiet or outgoing or something else?
How would you describe their personality?
Life
What do you think the deceased was most grateful for in life?
What was the most important thing to the deceased (other than family) in life?
Do you think the deceased had any regrets about their life?
If so, what might they have been
Hobbies / Interests / Achievements
Did they have any hobbies or interests?
What were their hobbies?
Did you share any of these hobbies?
Did they teach you or anyone else their hobby?
If they did, do you have a funny story to share?
What were some positive attributes about the deceased?
Do you have a story about one time when you saw this attribute in action?
What did they like to do?
What will the best be remembered for?
Is there anything they hated to do?
Do you have a special memory that you want to share?
Did they have an achievement they were particularly proud of?
Did your relationship with the deceased change you in any way?
What do you think their lasting effect on the world will be?
Did the deceased have a Facebook page?
Career
What did the deceased do for a living?
For what company? For how long?
Had the deceased retired?
Did the deceased enjoy the work?
Why and to what extent?
Any other employment?
Are there any stories about their work-life that you remember?
What do you think the deceased would say were the most significant achievements of their life (other than having and raising a family?
Questions to ask when writing a eulogy to jog your memory
How did you meet?
What is a particular time you recall the deceased was especially happy?
A time they were embarrassed?
What is your earliest memory of this person?
What was the deceased ’s laugh like?
Were they chronically late or early?
Do you have any funny stories about times you spent together?
Where are they forgetful?
Was time keeping important?
Questions for Storytelling
Do you, your family or friends have or remember any favourite stories about childhood that the deceased loved to tell?
Do you remember stories they would tell about?
The military?
College
Getting married
Becoming a parent
Going to prom/leaving school
Learning how to drive
Did the deceased ever discuss big decisions they made that impacted their live?
Were there any significant changes to the deceased ’s life that substantially affected them?
If you knew they could drop by and visit tomorrow, what would your perfect day together look like?
Questions to ask when writing a eulogy to make you think
What was the deceased’s favourite colour?
Did they have a favourite flower?
What type of music did the deceased listen to?
Was there a piece of clothing or something else the deceased wore that you found characteristic of them?
Did they have a signature saying or phrase?
How did the deceased impact your life?
How will you honour the deceased ’s memory?
What do you wish you had said to them before they died?
Religion
Was the deceased a religious person? If so, to what extent?
Did the deceased have a church or synagogue, or mosque?
Friends
Who were their closest friends?
How did they meet?
What were their favourite things to do together?
Are they living?
And Finally Questions to ask when writing a eulogy end with
Was the deceased involved with any clubs or other organisations?
Did the deceased hold office?
What might have been the most important day or days of their life (other than children being born?
Is there something about the deceased that most people at the memorial service probably wouldn’t know? Perhaps a hidden talent or habit or way of doing something?
Can you think of three words (at least three – feel free to use more) best describe the deceased?
What made you love the deceased?
What trait, characteristic, or value do you think they would most like to have passed on to the next generations?
Did the deceased have any pets? If so, please describe them?
Did the deceased enjoy music? What kind? Any favourite songs?
How do you think the deceased most influenced the lives of those the deceased knew?
If someone were to ask you what the deceased was like, what would you say in one sentence?
Are there things you think might be essential for us to know about the deceased that we haven’t asked?
Would you describe the deceased as quiet or outgoing or something else?
As a Funeral Celebrant, I have come to the conclusion that funerals are funny things. You would think all funerals would be the same, but nothing could be further from the truth. There is indeed a loose format to a funeral, and those guidelines are almost always followed:
Welcome
Eulogy
Reflection
Committal
Goodbye
As celebrants, we must make each service special and individual to the deceased. The difference comes in the eulogy, selected music, poems, and readings. There can be a theme to a service. For example, someone mad about football can have a football theme service, with the eulogy reflecting a football match. The eulogy is often humorous, and its job is to make people fondly remember the deceased.
Children at the Funeral
You can then understand my surprise when I conducted a funeral today when we only had nine mourners. Four mourners were children saying goodbye to their father. I was worried about the service as I wanted to ensure the service helped the children come to terms with their loss, as they could not say goodbye in person as he died of cancer in the hospital. The children’s ages ranged from 4 to 14. Their mum had agreed to the service I had written and given me some valuable hints and tips about their dad.
I spent about 4 hours writing the service, most of which was on the eulogy. Even though most services are 30 minutes long, the work behind the scenes is time-consuming and extensive. I tried to make the service child-friendly so they could say their last goodbye, and the service I had created would only last for 22 minutes.
The Questions Children asked me as a Funeral Celebrant
When I got to the crematorium, I spoke to the family and dialogue with the children. They proudly showed me the pictures they had drawn for Dad and were on their best behaviour. We went into the chapel a little early, and I started to read my script.
Within a few minutes, I knew that the script I had created wasn’t going to really work. So, putting that aside, I was led by the children and their questions about the service.
Does the screen with Daddy’s name on it change every time someone dies?
Why is there a film of a flickering candle?
Are the candles real or fake?
Why do we have to leave by the door on the right?
How many funerals are there
I also asked them questions, for example
Daddy liked which football team
What are the colours of the football team?
Instead of reading the whole script, I spent some of my time answering their questions. During a part of the service, I mentioned that sometimes parents get things wrong, and one child picked up on this. And we had to explain that yes, parents get things wrong, but they correct themselves quickly so that they can guide you better.
During the committal, the children put the pictures they had drawn for him on the coffin, explained what they were, and said a quiet goodbye. The children were fantastic; they were not frightened to ask questions, and the service was more of a celebration of life and their last goodbye.
Conclusion of Children at a Funeral
As a funeral celebrant, I know I must be adaptable and guided by the audience. In this case, the children of the deceased. This was probably one of the most enjoyable funeral services I have conducted as a funeral celebrant.
